It’s not hard to tell if you aren’t winning at the game of life. In fact, sometimes all it takes is a quick glance around your apartment to know for sure. If no one ever comes over, if you relate on a deep personal level to George Thorogood’s “Get A Haircut” and anything on this list sounds familiar… there’s a really good chance that you suck at life.

1. The only artwork you have is either a Tron poster or a street sign that has either a swear word or your last name on it.
2. All your furniture is made out of pizza boxes and bottle caps.
3. You consider the yellow tint form smoking too much “a paint job”.
4. You have the oldest running craigslist ad looking for a roommate. In history.
5. Your “shag” carpeting is actually an over abundance of shed pet hair.
6. You can’t tell the difference between your rat terrier and…the rats.
7. The most edible thing in your fridge is the box of Arm and Hammer.
8. You use cigarettes to cover up “the smell”.
9. You are using gum anywhere as an adhesive.
10. You’ve started a shot glass collection “to class up the place”
11. The crust on the windows makes blinds unnecessary.
12. You have every High School Musical poster and you’re in your thirties.
13. You haven’t had a working stove in 9 months.
14. You own one fork, one spoon and one knife because it “helps you stay on top of the dishes”.
15. Your possession with the most cash vale is your beer bottle collection.
16. Your refrigerator has stopper working and you’re not sure if it got emptied or not… so you just haven’t checked.
17. You are the only one in the building being evicted by the health department.
18. Your cat has developed a wheeze because of the dust and mold.
19. Everything in your apartment was found on the side of the road.
20. Your security system is comprised of a sticky substance near the door.
21. You consider pervasive black mold “a minor nuisance”.
22. You’re not 80, but your TV is still black and white.
23. The furniture is covered by plastic, not to protect it, but to protect you.
24. There are coins stuck to various surfaces by any substance other than glue.
25. You’ve decided that dust is “part of the décor”.
26. You buy paper plates in order to avoid washing the dishes in the sink.
27. The vacuum cleaner serves as a coat tree, and nothing else.
28. You shower in the dark, so you don’t get scared.
29. The last time your kitchen floor was mopped was when the piped under the sink burst.
30. There are traffic cones any where in your living room