Maybe it’s the inconsiderate redneck and his oppressed housewife spouse. Maybe it’s the college kids who want to play scream-o until two in the morning. Maybe it’s an amorous newlywed couple with a noisy spring in their bed. Whatever the particulars, anyone who’s lived in an apartment can relate to the noisy neighbor problem.

There are, in all reality, a limited number of ways to fix the problem. It’s not rocket science. Still, that doesn’t mean it’s easy. And renter’s insurance doesn’t cover noisy neighbors.

You’ve basically got three options. Go visit your neighbors and talk to them about it, bitch to the landlord or make it so you can’t hear them. Depending on the particulars of your situation, one method might work better than another. Here are some tips to help with each:

The Visit

If you walk over to your neighbor’s door, pound loudly and immediately start ranting when the door opens, you’re not going to have much luck. The neighbor’s going to be defensive. Instead, try this: take them a gift. It might be a gift basket you paid $5 at Wal-Mart, or it might be a tray of homemade cookies. Even the simplest gift can help to disarm them.

Once they accept the gift, let them know that you wanted to talk about the noise. Go into specific reasons why it’s a problem – maybe you get up early to get dressed for work, for example. You should also tell them specifically what kinds of noises you hear, so that they can identify the source.

Be polite during this visit. Use words like “please” and “thank you.” Use “I statements,” such as “I am having a hard time staying asleep when I hear banging on the walls.” That takes the focus or blame off of them, while allowing you to express yourself.

The Landlord

If talking to your neighbor doesn’t work, go to the landlord. While it’s not likely that he’s going to put your noise complaint as a priority, you need to make the complaint anyways. Put it in writing, and begin creating a paper trail. If there are other nearby residents disturbed by the noise, ask them to complain to the landlord as well.

The Pacifist

You can’t control others behavior, so you may decide to stop trying. You can add things like acoustic panels or cork boards to help soundproof your walls. Carpeting helps, too. Even a few soundproofing boards covered in fabric may completely fix the problem, and they can be a great way to decorate, as well.

Photo via Matheus Sanchez