If you’ve ever rented, shared a house or apartment or lived with someone in general, you know how difficult having a roommate can be.  Whether its intrusive behavior, awful gleaning/grooming habits, the horror that is having a bad roommate can be devastating to one’s life.  And if you’ve never had a bad roommate then look in the mirror, because there’s a good chance that the bad roommate was you.

Living with someone else doesn’t have to be all bad just so long as you follow a few age old guidelines.  By following these rules for being a good roommate, you can share in a nice and rewarding living experience.

RESPECT SPACE

Americans are a different breed, we really relish our personal space.  If you take a trip to Europe you might find that people talk very closely and don’t have the bounds of personal space that are shared by Americans.  This holds true for roommates as well.  Understand what your own personal limits are and, more importantly, what your roommates personal limits are.  Rarely are you going to live with someone who is cool with you using the toilet when they are in the shower.  Likewise, you’re not likely to have a roommate that is ok with you dipping your chips into their onion dip.  You’re much better off understanding what is and is not cool.  It’s never going to be a great living situation if you never respect the “homophobic” seat on the couch.  Keep a little bit of distance.

RESPECT PRIVACY

“Hey man, what are you doing in there?” is something that I heard ad naseum from a roommate that I had one time.  I couldn’t do anything in the confines of my room without his insistent  pestering.  Nevermind the fact that I was simply enjoying a game on Playstation.  The simple fact that was that I felt like I had no privacy inside of the confines of my own home.  The lesson here is not to intrude.  If you imagine that your roommate does not like it when you barge in unannounced, or that they don’t like when you ask a number of questions about where they’ve been or what they’re up to.

BE CLEAN

There are few things more detrimental to a successful roommate relationship than being messy.  Leaving dirty dishes around the living room or not taking your turn  to pick up the living room is a sure sign of disrespect to those you live with.  Not only that, but it’s just plain rude.  Make sure to do your fair share, so long as your roommate is obliged to do his or her fair share as well.  “Cleanliness is next to Godliness” is a biblical phrase, and while it may or may not be true, cleanliness is certainly good for fostering a nice relationship.

PAY THE RENT

Seems like a no brainer for sure, but to be honest being late for the rent payment is always a bone of contention for roomies.  You can only account for your share of the rent, right?  Well if both your names are on the lease than your both on the line for the FULL SHARE!  It’s never ok to be late on the rent.  In the normal roommate relationship this is a problem that shouldn’t present itself.  And as a renter, you should make it your responsibility to ensure that.  Of all the offenses that a roommate can create, not paying the rent has to be on the top of the list.  It’s just bad form.

KNOW WHEN TO TAKE A WALK

This one is easy for someone who shared a dorm room in college.  Whether is the old “sock on the door” or any one of a myriad of non-verbal clues… make sure to know when is a good time to let your roommate be alone with his or her ‘special friend.’  Nothing kills the mood more than a roommate who can’t take the cue.  Don’t be that roommate.  Seriously.  Don’t be that roommate.  If you’ve ever been on the wrong side of this equation, then you know what a pain in the butt that can be.  Make sure that your roommate can “get there groove on” in peace.

HUG IT OUT B**CH

If Ari Gold from “Entourage” ever had any good advice for renters it was probably best uttered as listed above.  I was once the unwitting witness for a fight between my girlfriend and her roommate over a head of lettuce.  Truth be told, the fight had nothing to do with a head of lettuce but was more the product of a wealth of underlying issues.  The likelihood exists that you were probably friends with your roommate before you were roomies and if you can’t find the good will to ‘hug it out’, then the likelihood exists that you won’t stay that way after your lease is up.  I watched two formerly good friends hang on to their petty grudges and end up moving out and parting ways.  The good news is that once their status became sans’ roomies, their friendship flourished.  This doesn’t always have to be this way though… if they had only hugged it out.

In the end, the best piece of advice that I can give is to know and understand the old adage that “you never really know someone until you’ve lived with them.”  Understand that there will be challenges to be had… it happens with EVERY roommate.  The truth of the matter is that living with someone inevitably infringes on some part of your delicate living situation.  Knowing how to avoid the pitfalls and make the best of the good parts is all you can do to make it work.  Following the rules of making a good roommate doesn’t hurt either.