There are great roommates – those who bring the ladies, stock the fridge and always flush the toilet – then there are the bad ones. Most of these misfits are damn painful to watch on TV so we whole heartily guarantee living with them would be every guy’s worse nightmare. In no particular order:

22) Joey Gladstone

From: Full House

As roommate situations go, the label “full house” is pretty telling.  Clearly you’re in a cramped space and you’re going to want to hope for the best.  What you don’t want is a man-child who does cartoon voices and ventriloquism that lives down the hall.  Uncle Joey might have been aces in the eyes of toddlers, but being forced to endure every day next to am an who pretends to be a rodent is a one way ticket to madness.

Defining moment of crappiness: All those Popeye and Bullwinkle impressions. And his hair.

21) ALF

From: ALF

What’s not to love about a wisecracking muppet from another planet that wants to eat your cat and has to be kept secret at all times?  Alf was like your overbearing uncle who thinks he’s funny with the added bonus of being 100% housebound and probably shedding over all the furniture. At least your uncle knew when to shut up and leave.

Defining moment of crappiness: ALF’s real name – Gordon Shumway.

20) Ross Geller

From: Friends

There was a reason why Ross was always coming to visit others on Friends, no one wanted to go see him.  An insecure paleontologist is about as interesting as a cactus with a PhD, not to mention that it took him, what, 10 years to make a move on a girl he liked?  While you’re trying to live your life, odds are Ross will be at home organizing the sponges under the kitchen sink.

Defining moment of crappiness: A grown man buys a monkey with a hyperactive sex-drive?

19) Bernie

From: Weekend at Bernie’s

Bernie was a super popular guy and knew how to party, so you can’t fault him there.  But he was dead, and that means the house is going to start stinking in no time, plus if you leave him anywhere for too long he’s going to leave stains.  It’s like the biggest, grossest dog ever and he can’t play fetch.

Defining moment of crappiness: Managed to make a sequel.

18) Cody “Codeman” Lambert

From: Step by Step

This has creepy and weird all over it.  Never trust a guy who comes out of nowhere, lives in a van in the driveway and seems to have an unwholesome attraction to his own cousin.  That’s all a mix for disaster, the kind of disaster that wakes you up in the middle of the night because it’s been staring at you while you sleep.

Defining moment of crappiness: “Whoa, it’s like my brain has a mind of its own!”

17) Mrs. Bates

From: Psycho

Thumbs up to Mrs. Bates for being a low maintenance kind of roommate.  She’s a trim lady so you don’t have to worry about her eating a lot and, once she dries out, cleaning is a breeze.  On the other hand she’s a little controlling and you can never be sure if that’s her or her son coming at you with a knife.

Defining moment of crappiness: Won’t even let you finish a show so you gotta die dirty.

16) Tyler Durden

From: Fight Club

Who wouldn’t want to hang out with Brad Pitt 24/7 when he’s a nihilistic soap merchant who likes to get into fights for kicks?  That can’t be all bad.  What can be bad though is that, being the avatar of a mental illness as he is, he’s never going to clean up after himself and all his problems immediately become your problems because imaginary people rarely display accountability for their actions.

Defining moment of crappiness: Condoms in the toilet. Oh yeah he sleeps with the chick you like, who wants to live with that?

15) Igor

From: Young Frankenstein

In the history of Igor’s there have been a lot of sketchy moments.  By and large he seems to be a really solitary guy who sometimes digs up bodies and brings the pieces home, which is a real buzz kill if you have friends over.  On the other hand, Young Frankenstein’s sidekick at least had some decent one liners.  Of course, the freaky bug eyes kind of make them not all that worthwhile. Probably not one to trust with important “monster-part-collecting” duties.

Defining moment of crappiness: Switching out the brain of Hans Delbruck for Abby Normal.

14) Balki

From: Perfect Strangers

Cousin Balki hailed from the isle of Mypos and seemed to be part gypsy and part Cirque du Soleil.  Cultural differences lead to numerous crazy hijinks and you can imagine how crazy they must be when he comes from a fictional land that seems to technologically and socially be in the Dark Ages.

Defining moment of crappiness: “Now we are so happy, we do the dance of joy!”

13) Kramer

From: Seinfeld

Cosmo seems like a good guy on the surface, a little eccentric and all that, but his charm is also what makes him unbearable.  Your food is not your own.  Your phone is not your own.  Sometimes your bed is not even your own.  And every single thing he ever does to try to help you ends up backfiring.

Defining moment of crappiness: Post-fame racism and Mr. Marbles, the possibly alive ventriloquist dummy.

12) Annie Wilkes

From: Misery

On the one hand she keeps a nice house and seems to be a decent cook.  On the other hand she’s about as insane as insane gets and will break your limbs with construction tools if you use offensive language or, you know, try to actually leave the house.

Defining moment of crappiness: Breaking James Caan’s bones so he won’t escape, literally putting him in his place.

11) Jack Torrance

From: The Shining

Things start out OK up at the secluded Overlook with our boy Jack.  He’s a writer, so he’ll probably be able to keep quiet and keep busy all day, can’t go wrong with that. But once dead ladies start appearing in showers and evil bartenders from beyond the grave start doling out drinks, Jack’s penchant for home renovation with an axe does become a bit problematic.

Defining moment of crappiness: All work and no play makes Jack chase you through the snow with an axe. Whole-Heartily, mind you.

10) Damien

From: The Omen

You have to respect a kid who has a job, that’s showing responsibility at an early age and it means he can contribute to the household.  Usually, anyway.  If his job is to be the antichrist then maybe you have bigger fish to fry than just worrying about whose night it is to do the dishes and why someone keeps peeing on the seat.

Defining moment of crappiness: Tricycle homicides.

9) Mork

From: Mork and Mindy

A hirsute alien who mugs for the camera and makes funny noises?  And wears suspenders?  How could this turn out badly?  Aside from the fact Mork existed as a spin off from Happy Days and his efforts to abduct Richie were foiled by the Fonz of all people, the alien was kicked off his whole planet for being too annoying.  That bodes poorly for any potential human roomies. And you read correctly…Mork is originally a Happy Days character.

Defining moment of crappiness: Nanu-Nanu!

8) Stewie

From: Family Guy

There’s nothing wrong with a dry wit, but when it comes in a loaded diaper (and potentially with a loaded gun) you may have problem.  The accent is charming and you would likely have some worthwhile conversations but as Brian’s learned all too often Stewie’s penchant for villainy will raise it’s head eventually and the next thing you know you’re going to wake up strapped to a death ray.

Defining moment of crappiness: Ambiguous sexuality in a baby is weird.

7) Bubba Blue

From: Forrest Gump

If you’re ever stuck for conversation, Bubba’s a good friend to have around as Bubba always has something to say.  Unfortunately it seems like it was always about shrimp and even the best of us are going to get sick of shellfish eventually…or gunned down in ‘nam.

Defining moment of crappiness: The second most famous line from the movie, “Shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.”

6) Leatherface

From: Texas Chainsaw Massacre and all its terrible sequels/spinoffs

They say everything’s bigger in Texas, but at least in this house you have a guy willing to cut everything into bite sized chunks for you.  On the other hand, he does wear a mask made out of someone else’s face, the basement is full of bodies and/or body parts and, probably, you’re next.

Defining moment of crappiness: Er, well…all of them.

5) Robin

From: Batman Forever and Batman and Robin

He’s a young go-getter who wants to prove himself so you have to respect that.  On the other hand, he can’t be trusted since he took it upon himself to wander through Wayne Manor snooping around until he found the Batcave and then whined until he got to become a superhero too.  And to top it all off, instead of coming up with a cool nickname, he chose to name himself after a chubby bird that signifies spring.

Defining moment of crappiness: Nipples and codpiece in Batman and Robin.

4) Baby Sinclair

From: Dinosaurs

It’s hard to not like a baby.  But not impossible.  If that baby’s a diaper-bound dinosaur with a shrill voice and a penchant for tired catchphrases who can and will beat you with a wooden spoon in order to get its way, you may consider putting it up for adoption.

Defining moment of crappiness: “Not the Mama!”  Yeah, we get it.

3) Buddy Lembeck

From: Charles in Charge

Living with Buddy Lembeck would probably be a bit like living with a giant toddler.  It’s not really sure about that whole cause and effect thing just yet and things are going to get broken from time to time.  Yet, at the end of the day, no matter how much you complain or try to shift blame, people are going to hold you responsible for whatever went wrong because he doesn’t know any better. Hard to say how Charles kept his cool all these years.

Defining moment of crappiness: Currently in a reality show dealing with his own bankruptcy.  Ouch.

2) Lloyd Christmas

From: Dumb and Dumber

Lloyd is a creative guy – it takes a bit of thinking outside the box to tape a budgie’s head back on and then sell it to a blind boy. Also, the idea of peeing on a motorbike because pulling over just seems like a bad idea is unique enough.  Then again, cross him and he may spike your drink with copious amounts of laxatives.  Oh, and he’s a complete idiot.

Defining moment of crappiness: Killing a man with hot peppers.  Sure he was bad, but Lloyd didn’t know that.

1) Steve Urkel

From: Family Matters

This is one of the worst, non-lethal roommates situations you’re ever likely to find yourself in.  A person with just short of no redeeming qualities who is not only annoying but actively seems to be nurturing those annoying traits and never, ever goes away. Look, it required the power of an imaginary piece of technology to transform Urkel into a redeeming piece of society. But at least he was a lady killer.

Defining moment of crappiness: “Did I do that?”, yes you did.