It’s been a long day of lifting boxes. Finally, you’ve moved into your sweet new digs, figured out where to put the couch, and you’re unpacking your third box between gulps of well-deserved beer when, suddenly, you hear it:

The telltale squeak of a mattress… Country music, like Billy Ray Cyrus is in your living room and you HATE country music… a Saint Bernard barking incessantly… someone talking on the phone but just muffled enough so that you can’t actually eavesdrop…  the clatter of dishes being washed in a passive-aggressive fashion… a Chihuahua. Barking. Incessantly!!!… the Twins/Red Sox game…  the raucous meowing of three or four cats, followed by the sound of a can opener… a baby loudly alerting his parents to the fact that he’s hungry , or maybe he needs a diaper change or is bored..

"I need a DIAPER CHANGE!!!"

Regardless, they can’t seem to figure it out… snoring… another squeaking noise. Like a small metal wheel. Could it be a hamster?

Just then, you hear a knock on your door. You go to answer it. Your neighbor is standing there. Apologetically, he says, “I’m really sorry to bother you—welcome to the building, by the way—but, um, your beer drinking? It’s kind of loud, although I can understand why you like a nice Hefeweizen. Maybe you could do it during the day when people are at work?”

Should you live in such an environment, don’t give up hope. Sadly, your renter’s insurance doesn’t cover a good night’s sleep, but there are a few things you can do to minimize the noise that comes with those thin walls. Keep your neighbors’ habits from becoming your soundtrack, and keep your own activities to yourself with these tips.

The Right Stuff

Choose accessories that will muffle noise, both the noise you produce and the noise that might make its way into your apartment. Think fluffy area rugs. Thick drapes. Wall tapestries. Large cork bulletin boards. Used strategically, they can cut down on noise at least a little.

Don’t Hate, Relate

Build relationships with your neighbors so that you can bring up problems tactfully. For instance, maybe your neighbor has a barking dog. Instead of putting her on the defensive about her dog’s behavior, sympathize with her about the challenges of keeping a dog in an apartment. This may open the doors to discussing solutions to the problem. Likewise, alert your neighbors to parties in advance. Preferably, invite them—then they’ll be making noise in your apartment instead of complaining about it.

All in the Timing

When you have kids, the difference between 11:34 pm and Hell is simply a matter of perspective.

Confine your louder activities to normal hours—don’t do anything noisy after 9 or 10 on a weeknight or 11-12 on weekends. If your neighbors can’t seem to obey this principle themselves, it’s fine to ask them to be quieter at night. If you have rude neighbors who just won’t stop having parties until 4 a.m. on Tuesday nights—and it happens—complain to your building manager or landlord. Sometimes, you have to put your foot down. If your neighbors seem like they might be vengeful, be sure to keep your complaint anonymous. If you hear what sounds like a serious domestic disturbance, call the police.

Space Out

If you have an active romantic life, move your bed a few inches away from the nearest wall instead of having it right up against it. Those good vibrations won’t travel so much.

Fan Boy

A fan or white noise machine can work wonders if you are trying to sleep while your neighbor hones her karaoke skills or tuba-playing abilities.

Ear to Ear

Along the same lines, a good pair of earplugs or noise-canceling headphones can be an excellent choice. If you like your own music loud, wear headphones out of consideration for your neighbors, or choose a time when they are out to turn it up. Who knows—maybe keeping your music low for your neighbors’ sake will pay off when you reach old age without needing a hearing aid.

Sound Off

If you want to get serious, you can install various soundproofing products and noise barriers. Depending on the type of barrier you choose, you may need to discuss this with your landlord first, and get permission in writing if possible; you don’t want to be charged fees for removal when you leave.

Think Positive

Is the Power-of-Positive-Thinking enough to battle Bon Jovi?

If all else fails, you have no choice but to get used to the situation (or move). Try your best to find your neighbors charming rather than annoying. After all, a neighbor who practices the cello (and is actually good at it) can be downright pleasant. If, on the other hand, your neighbor’s activity of choice is belting out old Bon Jovi songs in the shower, at least you now know all the words to “Wild in the Streets.”

Image Credits:
Freephotobank
Flickr (Angry Baby)
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CoverBrowser.com (Book Cover)